The Gay Divorcee: A Study of Gay and Lesbian Breakups

The Gay Divorcee

The Survey

This survey asks questions about your relationship and about how that relationship ended. Some questions require only that you select from a short list of options, while others ask for extended responses. Not every question will be relevant to every person, and you will be able easily to skip sections that do not apply to you. You may also skip any question that you don’t wish to answer. I recommend reading through the survey before you start to answer the questions.

To the best of my knowledge, no one has asked these questions in a systematic way, so you have a chance to contribute to a ground-breaking study. Your answers will provide a picture of how gay men and lesbians undertake a process for which there are few guidelines. Your participation is important.

Although this is a confidential survey, it is not anonymous. I ask for names and addresses so that I can verify or clarify information contained in the survey and so that I can provide you with a summary of the results. No one but me will see your name and address.

By submitting this survey form, you grant me permission to use the information it contains for the project I've described. If you would like to participate but don't wish to complete the survey on line, you may email me to arrange for a taped interview. To learn more about the study, please read the "Project" page.

Full Name:*
Address:*
City:*	State:* ZIP Code:*
*E-mail address:**	Phone:
Age:*
Sex:*
Race/ethnicity:

	* Required field.

Go to Part One

Part One: DESCRIBE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Please key in your answers, or select from the choices offered:

What year did your relationship end?
How many years and months were you in your relationship?
What city and state did you and your partner live in?
How old were you when you when you got together?
How old was your partner when you got together?
What was your occupation then?
What was your partner's occupation then?
Did you consider this to be a committed relationship similar to marriage?
Which of you initiated the breakup?
In a sentence or two, what was the reason(s) for the breakup?

Go to Part Two

Part Two: PROPERTY

Please go to the next section if you did not own real estate or any other type of property together.

Did you own real estate together?
If yes, how did you hold the title?
Did you own a business together?
If so, what kind of business?
Please explain the terms of ownership of the business. E.g., did each of you own equal shares or was ownership divided in some other way?
Did you own joint personal property such as furniture or a car?
Did you have joint credit cards?
Did you have joint bank or brokerage accounts?
Did one of you have significantly greater financial resources than the other?
If so, without offering specific amounts, could you briefly describe the difference?
Did you and your partner divide your property without help from the court or a third party?
If you used a third party other than the courts, who was it?
How were property issues finally resolved?
Describe briefly the division of real or personal property: who got what?
Are you receiving or did you receive post-separation support from your partner?
If so, what kind and for how long?
Are you providing or did you provide post-separation support to your partner?
If so, what kind and for how long?
How satisfied were you with the property division?	Very satisfied Somewhat satisfied Somewhat dissatisfied Very dissatisfied
How satisfied do you think your partner was with the property division?	Very satisfied Somewhat satisfied Somewhat dissatisfied Very dissatisfied
If you managed the property division without legal help, what was the central principle that guided the process?
If you were unable to manage the property division without legal help, where and why do you think the process broke down?

Back to previous section

Go to Part Three

Part Three: CHILDREN

Please go to the next section if there were no children in the relationship.

How many children did your household include?
What was your legal relationship to each child?
What was your partner's legal relationship to each child?
Did you and your partner resolve custody, support, and visitation issues without help from the court or a third party?
If you used a third party other than the courts, who was it?
How were the issues finally resolved?
Please describe the custody, support, and visitation arrangements that were put into place after the breakup.
Have any changes been made to these arrangements? Please describe.
How satisfied were you with the custody and visitation arrangements?	Very satisfied Somewhat satisfied Somewhat dissatisfied Very dissatisfied
How satisfied do you think your partner was with the custody and visitation arrangements?	Very satisfied Somewhat satisfied Somewhat dissatisfied Very dissatisfied
Are you paying child support to your partner?
Are you receiving child support from your partner?
How satisfied were you with the child support arrangements?	Very satisfied Somewhat satisfied Somewhat dissatisfied Very dissatisfied
How satisfied do you think your partner was with the child support arrangements?	Very satisfied Somewhat satisfied Somewhat dissatisfied Very dissatisfied
If you managed custody, visitation, and support issues without legal help, what was the central principle that guided the process?
If you were unable to manage custody, visitation, and support issues without legal help, where and why do you think the process broke down?

Back to previous section

Go to Part Four

Part Four: PETS

Please go to the next section if there were no pets in the relationship.

How many pets did your household include?
How were they acquired?
Some people think of pets as family members. Other people think of pets as little more than property. What was the status of the pet(s) within your household?
Please describe the arrangements you made for the pet(s) after you broke up, including how you negotiated the arrangements and how satisfactory you and your partner found the arrangements to be.

Back to previous section

Go to Part Five

Part Five: GOING TO COURT

Please go to the next section if you did not attempt to go to court to end your relationship.

If you succeeded in getting to court:
There are two separate components to people's experience with the courts. One is the outcome, and the preceding questions have addressed that aspect. The other is the experience of interacting with the judge and other court personnel. Beyond the general discomfort that most people feel going to court, were there ways in which you felt particularly uncomfortable as a result of being lesbian or gay? I am interested in hearing not only about whatever homophobia you encountered, but also about more positive experiences where homophobia was absent. In short, how were you treated?

If you failed in getting to court:
Sometimes people attempt to use the courts but are turned away by judges who decline to assert jurisdiction. If you attempted to use the courts but failed, what was the reason the judge gave for refusing to hear your case?

Back to previous section

Go to Part Six

Part Six: CLOSURE

How long did it take you and your partner to disentangle your lives?
Did you continue to share living space with your partner after you'd decided to break up?
When and how did you realize that the breakup was complete?
Did you have a will while you were in your relationship?
Did your will make provision for your partner?
Are there still provisions in your will for your partner?
Did your partner have a will while you were in your relationship?
Did your partner's will make provision for you?
What is your current relationship with your partner?
What was the thing you were proudest of in the way you and your partner broke up?
What was the thing you would change about how you and your partner broke up?
What were the things you could have used more help with if help had been available?
Back to previous section Go to Part Seven - The End!

Part Seven: THE FUTURE

Do you think that gay men and lesbians should have the right to go to family court to dissolve their relationships?
Do you think that it would be a good thing for the family courts to preside over the dissolution of same-sex relationships?
What else would you like to say that the survey hasn't asked you about?
How did you learn about this study?
How do you prefer to be contacted with any follow-up questions?
Would you like to be notified when survey results are posted on this web site?

You can go back over the previous pages to check or alter your answers. When you're ready to forward the survey to me, click here on SEND:

Thank you for your time and your interest in this project.

How long did it take you and your partner to disentangle your lives?
Did you continue to share living space with your partner after you'd decided to break up?
When and how did you realize that the breakup was complete?
Did you have a will while you were in your relationship?
Did your will make provision for your partner?
Are there still provisions in your will for your partner?
Did your partner have a will while you were in your relationship?
Did your partner's will make provision for you?
What is your current relationship with your partner?
What was the thing you were proudest of in the way you and your partner broke up?
What was the thing you would change about how you and your partner broke up?
What were the things you could have used more help with if help had been available?

Do you think that gay men and lesbians should have the right to go to family court to dissolve their relationships?
Do you think that it would be a good thing for the family courts to preside over the dissolution of same-sex relationships?
What else would you like to say that the survey hasn't asked you about?
How did you learn about this study?
How do you prefer to be contacted with any follow-up questions?
Would you like to be notified when survey results are posted on this web site?